I. Family Systems and Development The contrast between healthy and unhealthy families can be traced back to the biblical teaching of 1 Corinthians 13:1-13; If I speak the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a resounding cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all science, and if I have all faith, enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I have and hand over my body to the stake, but have no love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; he is not arrogant or rude. He doesn't insist on his own way; he is not irritable or resentful. Healthy family systems produce positive behaviors, strong self-esteem, and good academic progress in school. Healthy families mirror 1 Corinthians 13. Unhealthy families are filled with abuse, poor communication between family members, and uninvolved or authoritative parents. Unhealthy family systems cause low self-esteem, depression, and behavioral problems.II. Healthy Development and Healthy Family Systems Healthy families are based on what is real. Every person knows his abilities and his lack of abilities. They also both know what each other's strengths and weaknesses are and try to build on both. This can also be known as the ability to compliment the other person's flaws with your strengths, but it is also another side of the fact that you have to accept your flaws and also allow the other person to compliment them. Khoei suggests that "men preferred a mate who was a good housewife, capable of cooking, and women preferred a mate with "Good earning capacity", "Good financial prospects", "college education", "Favorable social status" and “Industriousness.” (K...... middle of paper...... Resentment is a gift that the person holds and refuses to let go of. Resentment is like a chain that holds a person underwater Forgiveness is a liberating release to breathe fresh air again. Forgiveness is also associated with security and resentment fuels fears is that fiction on which unhealthy families are based said, "I will never leave you, I will never forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my help; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" That forgiveness and fear can set you free or debilitate you. Both have a lasting impact on development. Strong bonds in a family carry great leaders into adulthood. Weak bonds in families cause depression and antisocial life skills in children and adults.