"She wants... to be everything" Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay A sense of individuality is essential to surviving the many emotional and physical obstacles encountered in daily life. A unique identity is perhaps one of the only true characteristics that define an individual and is certainly a key principle in understanding and responding to one's atmosphere. In “The Bell Jar,” Esther battles not only a deterioration of mental stability, but also a lack of sense of individuality. Esther is a young, sensitive and intelligent woman who feels oppressed by the obvious social restrictions imposed on women and the pressure she feels regarding her future. Undoubtedly these emotional burdens cause not only Esther's social and intellectual isolation, but also her imminent mental breakdown. Clearly, Esther is deeply troubled by the hypocritical and often vicious world around her, and feels overwhelmed and powerless to free herself from her inner world of alienation. Instead of firmly establishing a genuine sense of self, Esther adopts and carefully examines the images and personalities of the women in her life, which neither fit nor reflect her legitimate character. Throughout the novel Esther is faced with numerous possibilities regarding her future aspirations. Although an extremely insightful and brilliant woman, Esther has no sense of imminent direction and instead imagines becoming and achieving numerous successes simultaneously. After meeting her boss, Jay Cee, Esther is immediately struck by his thriving balance between career and marriage, and begins to imagine achieving similar results: "I tried to imagine what it would be like if I were Cee...Cee, the famous publisher , in an office full of pots of ficus and African violets that my secretary had to water every morning." (pg. 36) Esther idolizes Jay Cee for his wisdom and prosperity, yet is indecisive and paranoid about choosing the only path to follow in life. Esther imagines her life as a fig tree from which she cannot choose a single branch: "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig...I saw myself sitting in the fork of this fig tree, dying of hunger, just because I couldn't decide which of the figs I would choose, I wanted them all, but choosing one meant losing all the others, and as I stood there, unable to decide, the figs began to shrivel and turn black and, one by one, they fell off land at my feet." (p. 73) Jay Cee symbolizes the refined and refined achievements that Esther desperately wants to embody, despite her inability to decide to strive for a particular goal. He eventually learns of Esther's incompetent single-mindedness as he states, "She wants... to be everything" (p. 97). As a scholarship recipient, Esther feels obligated to impress everyone and live up to the standards the outside world has set for her. As a result, Esther brings herself into a state of utter depression and disillusionment, feeling that she cannot live up to the standards expected of her. Although institutionalized, Esther cannot escape the intense pressure of her visitors: "I kept hearing the visitors measuring my greasy, stringy hair against what I had been and what they wanted me to be." Detached and isolated from her inner self, Esther focuses her hopes and dreams on the anticipations of others. Esther exists in a perceptual and cerebral world that consequently segregates her from many social aspects of her life. Essentially an outcast, Esther's numerous attempts at social conformity fail, as her self-image isincomplete and contradictory. Esther considers herself a pure and naive "good girl" and feels euphoric as she experiences Doreen's lifestyle. She sees Doreen as a worldly, sophisticated, intelligent person who experiences the "bad girl" and is enchanted by the prospect of constant emotional and sexual freedom. As Esther states: "...being with Doreen made me forget my worries. I felt wise and cynical as hell" (p. 7). Doreen symbolizes Esther's need to rebel against her obsession with sexual purity and obedience to rules, and for a short time she enjoys her adaptation to this way of life. Although Esther appears fascinated by Doreen's lifestyle, she quickly determines that she cannot harmonize with Doreen's flirtatious nature and wild escapades, and instead aspires to unite with Betsy's pure and simple nature. In many ways Esther and Betsy's lives are very similar. Both are scholarship-winning young women who, to some extent, exist in a world of purity and innocence. However, unlike Betsy, Esther does not appreciate her femininity as she refuses to marry or have a family. Just as Esther fails to adapt to Doreen's world of seduction and rebellion, she cannot adapt to the feminine role of mother and wife that Betsy welcomes. Betsy is a sweet, innocent woman who joyfully accepts the role of women in society, which Esther periodically wishes she could embrace. Instead he bitterly rejects Betsy's beliefs and sarcastically calls her "Pollyanna Cowgirl" (p. 108). Esther's insecurity is ultimately the cause of her separation from both Betsy's and Doreen's environments. Throughout the novel Esther is appalled by the sanctity of society and the role that women have been designated to play. Esther despises the superiority that men maintain over women and the maternal role that women are expected to play. Although Esther does not attempt to imitate the attitudes of her mother and Mrs. Willard, Esther is nevertheless influenced by their ideology to which she is constantly subjected. Furthermore, Mrs. Willard and Esther's mother simply suggest the roles Esther should play. Esther's philosophy revolves around feminism, which states that women should be given the same opportunities and privileges as men. Unfortunately, Esther discovers the reality of a deceptive civilization in which her naive views and ideals are destroyed. Mrs. Willard is a wise and sensitive woman who has dedicated her life to being a dutiful wife and mother. He preaches to Esther that, “What a man is is an arrow into the future and what a woman is is the place from which the arrow goes” (p. 67). Disgusted and enraged by this concept, Esther is amazed that a woman's needs and interests in society are consistently overlooked. Mrs. Willard also instills in Esther the idea that both men and women should remain pure to each other until they marry. Tragically, Esther is devastated when she learns of Buddy's romance with an older woman and feels betrayed by the idea of a double standard for men and not women. Mrs. Willard personifies the very feeling that Esther rejects. Not only does Mrs. Willard dedicate her life to her husband and children, but her specific emotions and actions are ignored, as Esther states: "And I knew that for all the roses and kisses and restaurant dinners, a man made the shower a woman before he married her, what he secretly wanted at the end of the wedding service was for her to flatten under his feet like Mrs. Willard's kitchen mat." (p. 80) Consistently, Esther rejects her mother's comparable ideals. Esther's mother is also a capable wife and mother..
tags