Although Epictetus' Handbook consists of only fifty-three points, it manages to clearly convey the main ideas of Stoicism and how to act on those principles. While reading all the points in the Handbook is important to get an accurate picture of Stoicism, simply by looking at the way Epictetus talks about family relationships you can get a relatively good picture of what he wants from students. of stoicism. By examining the passages in which family relationships are explored, one can find guidelines to three of Epictetus' most important Stoic ideals (which sometimes overlap): how important it is to live according to nature, through self-knowledge (knowledge of one's limits and finiteness) and through self-control or authority over oneself. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay First, two scenarios that Epictetus outlines in his Handbook connect to the important Stoic theme of how to live in accord with nature. Epictetus writes: “Appropriate actions are generally measured through relationships. He is a father: this means taking care of him, giving in to him in everything, putting up with him when he abuses you or hits you." (Epictetus 20) He goes on to say that even if the father is a bad father, the child should maintain this relationship with him, because the child's natural bond is not with a good father, but with a father. (Epictetus 21) Since nature has determined how father and son should behave towards each other, the child should pursue actions appropriate to him or her as a child, despite the father's actions. This example of how to pursue family relationships ties into the Handbook's overall theme of living with nature and determining what types of actions are and are not within one's power. What the Stoic should do is aim to act as nature dictates, but not be disappointed when the outcome of those actions does not satisfy him, as in the case where the son is a good son but the father is not a good son. father. One way to see it is to watch a marksman aiming at a target. The goal is to hit the center of the target, but this is not totally under the shooter's control: his fingers may sweat and slip, the gun may aim high or low due to some internal defect, or the gun may it fails completely. All the shooter can do is shoot well, not produce perfect results; if the shooter shoots well, regardless of the outcome of the shot, he will be able to view the shot successfully. Likewise, a son can accomplish what nature requires of him in his relationship with his father, and regardless of whether the outcome is positive or not (a good relationship), the son has still been successful. The actions you take should be motivated by what is required by the nature of your relationships, not by how other people act. However, living in tune with nature (as the example of the father/son relationship tells the Stoics to do) requires a Stoic to focus on two other things. The first of these is the recognition of the finiteness and limits of man, which requires paying attention to the world in which one's actions take place. Epictetus focuses on this with some examples of family relationships, the first of which is one of his seemingly most morbid examples: at one point he states: “If you kiss your son or your wife, say that you are kissing a human being.” being; because when he dies, you will not be troubled.” (Epictetus 12) Through this example, Epictetus seeks to ground the Stoic firmly in the reality of the world around him and how nature works. This is not an optimistic view of life:there is no talk of afterlife or immortality; there is no guarantee against sudden illness, death or bad luck. Instead, Epictetus demands that his followers face the irrefutable fact that the way nature works is not always what one would like: one's loved ones will eventually die, and in the end there is nothing one can do to prevent it. Limitation is the nature of human life. Furthermore, it is important that followers of Stoicism realize that this recognition of human finitude is an unshakable truth for all; nature does not differ from the order of causes and effects. Epictetus further emphasizes the importance of this truth when he states: “Someone else's son, or his wife, has died. There is no one who would not say: "It is the lot of a human being." But when one's own dies, it is immediately: 'Alas! Poor me!'” (Epictetus 18-19) Loss is a neutral event for everyone because everyone has to face it; it's not a horrible thing for just one person, and if it is, it's because that person didn't realize it could ever happen to them. It is the perception of finitude that makes it horrible, not the limitation itself, a concept that Epictetus reiterates later when he says: “What troubles people are not the things themselves, but their judgments about things.” (Epictetus 13) In order not to be unhappy due to dashed hopes due to wrong judgments, we must face the true nature of man and nature. If that were all, though, Stoicism might be very simple: It's easy to complain about the unfairness of life, perhaps too easy. What Stoicism requires, based on the realization of one's own finiteness and limits, is a certain set of actions. It is this set of actions that two other examples of family relationships in the Manual deal with. The first consists of someone who is on a boat anchored in a port; that person is free to get off the boat and go around the island to get food and water, but must always keep his mind on the boat and the fact that it will inevitably leave at some point. He must keep his attention on the boat so he can hear when the captain calls him to return; when the captain does this, whatever the person on the island is doing, he must “let go of all those other things so that [he] is not tied up and thrown onto the ship like cattle.” (Epictetus 13) Here's how to live life in a dignified way: whenever death comes – as it inevitably will – you have to be ready to leave everything behind without looking back, no matter if it's your wife or your child. If he doesn't, he will be tied up and thrown into the inevitable like cattle, losing dignity in what should have been a neutral situation. This is an important idea for Epictetus: struggling or worrying about situations one cannot control is futile and deprives people of human dignity. Since death is something that will happen no matter what and cannot be controlled, nothing should stop a Stoic from facing it, not even his family. What you need to do is align your will with what nature asks for by obediently complying when death calls, not asking for nature to adapt its actions to what you want by struggling and fighting against death. The second example Epictetus offers details about something equally important. He states bluntly: “You are a fool if you want your children, your wife and your friends to live forever, since you want things to depend on you that do not depend on you, and for things to be yours that do not belong to you” . your own." (Epictetus 15) This statement is basically a reiteration of the principle that it is important to recognize and accept the way nature works. However, Epictetus goes on to say that: “A person's master is someone who has).