There are obvious challenges when starting a family as a gay couple. We can't make a baby the old fashioned way. One parent may be biologically related but not both by definition of the nature of the same-sex relationship. So what happens in the event of a divorce? It's normal for the biological parent to think they have priority. This is actually the dilemma. Marriage equality has not erased the cultural and legal issues surrounding the family dynamic of same-sex parents. If both parents were part of the child's life and both parents participated in the child's upbringing, why should either of them have priority? But courts are generally biased. The truth is that the non-biological parent enters the courtroom with a strike against him. It's certainly an uphill battle. So consider this before starting a family and perhaps, as awkward as the discussion may be if you are the non-biological parent, discuss what you would want in the unlikely event of separation or divorce. Above all, legally secure your rights in writing before embarking on starting a family with children. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay We (LGBT) have won the right to marry, but divorces are complicated and laws and courts have not adapted to the new family reality. Gay families are everywhere, and just like our straight counterparts, we are divorcing, having custody battles, and suffering in the family court system. Given my experience with the Court, my recommendation is to do everything you can to stay out of them because they are not rational, nor fair. Ultimately, I was awarded custody of my daughter despite not being the biological parent, but it was a real struggle. I was given custody but with many strings attached. Strings that I'm not sure straight people deal with. In my case, the biological mother and father (who gave up their rights and obligations to my daughter so that I could adopt her) discussed biology. I only had one leg to stand on because I went through the long, invasive experience of second-parent adoption allowed in New York. The custody battle has been a brutal ordeal and one that sadly continues. If I hadn't adopted my daughter there was a good and real chance I would never see her again. I love my daughter with all my heart. I know the best thing for her is to have both of us in her life. Even though I tried numerous times to settle down with my ex, she took it for granted that she would be granted custody because she is the biological parent. It is a testament to my dedication to my daughter that I persevered. Everything was thrown at me. Don't get me wrong. However, I believe that nature and nurture are both very important in raising a child, not one at the expense of the other. I believe we should both have been treated equally, but New York courts only have jurisdiction to award legal custody to one parent. My ex rolled the proverbial dice and lost. He lost because of the specific facts of my case. But the Court treated me (as a non-biological parent) as if I were a second class citizen. I felt this prejudice and so my ex continues to use the justice system as a sword. Being a parent is the most rewarding part of my life. Likewise, creating a child is the easy part, raising children is the work. Dealing with the Family Court and all its prejudices and ancient ways of defining families and the roles parents play is archaic to say the least. The.