Business failures and bankruptcy took a toll on my self-esteem, but they also took a toll on our already ailing relationship. We lost our vehicles to foreclosures, we had a debt with the IRS, which we obviously couldn't pay, and we ultimately lost our home. Sandi decided she would go to work to help out. I had never really wanted him to work, but I knew he wanted to help me and we could definitely use the money. By the time he went to work, I was working from our home. I handled all billing and shipping for the expert witness list from home. We were able to purchase a cheap used car, which Sandi drove back and forth to work. Two of the boys were in high school. They had part-time jobs and had purchased their own car. I know Sandi was as humbled and humbled by our financial problems as I was. But she was also angry and it was my fault. It was all my fault, I was the one who caused a change in his lifestyle. This was his mindset at the time and it was very evident in his actions towards me. After the original business I started closed, he emphatically told me that he wanted nothing to do with any of my business ventures. In fact she wouldn't help me, she didn't want to talk about it and she really didn't want to know anything about it. And so it was for the next 5 or 6 years. Once Sandi went to work, I became the redheaded stepdaughter. I was doing the activity outside our house. I've been at home all day. He took the attitude that his job was more important than mine. She, in her mind, had become the bread winner. In truth, he never took home more money than me. But honestly not... middle of paper... without bankruptcies, bankruptcies, foreclosures, financial ruin and humiliation. I knew that with time, hard work and persistence these things could be overcome. But I couldn't live with someone who didn't love me or who didn't care to show it to me. I couldn't live with doubt, never knowing if what he was saying was the truth or just his justification. I couldn't live with disrespect or indifference. Enough time had passed, we had been together almost 25 years. Hard work and persistence didn't seem to be the answer: We had spent several years working with other married couples trying to grow and improve our relationship. The marriage began with a certain amount of coercion and dishonesty. This is why we have never managed to build that relationship of trust, love and intimacy that the sacrament of marriage requires and deserves..