The water has such a cleansing quality. If only it could have the same lasting effect as Jackson Pollack's seemingly cavalier splash of white acrylic on a previously vacant canvas. Instead, its power is diminished by each resurfacing wave and the bits of ocean debris it leaves behind. There I was on the sandy, desolate beach, as a gust of rain was swept out to sea by a cold, hostile nor'easter. . Perhaps it reminds me of my days as a second-row footballer: I could never resist the impact of the zebra ball falling off my head, making me an ideal candidate for long periods of warming up on the bench, while others won over the fans and the football . leader of the hot cheer in bed after the game --- I kicked a nearly empty beer bottle whose Budweiser label had been nearly smashed off the contender's glass surface by the relentless wash of a rough ocean. As the bottle crossed the beach towards the sea, I looked outwards, towards the vast black water, boundless and disturbing in its liquid universe. Beer residue mixed with salt water poured from the bubbling missile as it skirted the sand before landing on the crest of a retreating wave. Once saddled, he took refuge in deeper waters. The hedonistic summer crowds had mostly disappeared from the New Jersey playground, except for my solitary figure and a few abstract silhouettes in the distance that resembled, from my perspective, skeletal corpses resurrected from a coastal ship wreck at long forgotten. for the storm clouds rushing overhead and for the exhaled breath of the northeast, my steps were along the wet sand --- my choice and I had no regrets. I am and have always been a loner. I can't take much... half the paper......and Marlboro, then I threw the cigarette butt and the remains of an old habit to the wind; the still-burning grass shredded the embers as it floated in the humid ocean air, startling a seagull that was pecking at the remains of some kind of sea casualty washed ashore. deeply and exhaled. It was intoxicating! I was happy that these occasional bouts of smoking were so fleeting and only evolved when my thoughts were heavy and their weight required a grip for support. Tonight it was tomorrow's events that charged the moment. I had kicked the cigarette habit, though not completely, I was still working on total abstinence, but it was moments like these that made complete abstinence a New Year's resolution year after year. However, when someone asked me whether I was a smoker or not, I responded with a sanctimonious “no".”.